we drive past at twenty-miles-an-hour to try
and get a closer look  the seats melting
in the chassis' furnace   the heat slipping
inside  reddening our faces  not shifting
for another junction  our own car close
and muggy with the smoke      so often
in the worst of it  I longed for someone
to rubberneck past the living room
take in the scene   the way your anger scorched
the place   left its residue for days until
another thing blazed up   would it have been different
with a witness? someone to take the keys
from my finger  walk me away  tell me
I was good  that they could see that I was trying
as they eased the can of petrol from my hand
Andrew McMillan is an award-winning poet and novelist. His fourth collection is forthcoming from Jonathan Cape next year.
Illustration by Chris Riddell
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