I should be out there again,
 fixing the ozone hole
  with sealing wax,
Canuting the rising tides,
 keeping the polar icecaps cool
  with a damp cloth.
But on this day –
 most days in fact –
  it’s all too much.
I’ll loaf
 another hour
  in this beachfront shack
watching the fire brigade
 in their flying boat –
  coward-yellow, inferno-red –
doing training drills
 and dummy runs
  in the mouth of the bay.
Wherever it kisses the waves
 it drinks from the sea,
  then climbs and pisses
a glitter of false rain
 onto make-believe flames
  and never misses.
Simon Armitage is the poet laureate
See also: Introducing The Observer's Sunday poem
Illustration by Chris Riddell
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